Space Vs Time

You only get one life. It should be lived as you see fit.

I know it sounds obvious and like something people do every day... but is it really? It seems to me that many people live the life they THINK they want to live... or worse, the life they think the are SUPPOSED to want to live.

I think that it is important for every person to stop, take a moment, and examine who they are and how they are living. REALLY examine them.

For example, if you have to have a bigger house or apartment to keep your stuff in, you should examine why you have that much stuff in the first place. If you answer is because you like it and you want it just to have it, then carefully consider if having those things is worth the hours you put in at your job and the money that you pay in order to give those things a home.

I did this, and I found that it was not at all worth it to me. Those hours are hours I could be painting, meditating, or spending with my loved ones. Possessions could never mean more to me than doing those things, and many more that I like to do.

In many equations, it comes down to space vs time. We all have a limited amount of time. Space is virtually limitless, for the right price. The more time you put in, the more space you can buy. But the more space you buy, the less time you will have to enjoy that space - or anything else.

But do you want the space itself? Do you really want the things that are in it? The initial reflex is to say yes! of course you do. We all do. But...

Think about the things you own... can you name every item? Do you suspect there are things in boxes you haven't seen in years? Do you keep stuff not because you want it but because you feel too guilty to part with it, either because of how much you paid for it or because it was a gift? Or maybe you can't part with that piece of exercise equipment because so long as it's there you MIGHT use it, and you might get your money out of it. Make a list of things you own that you LOVE and could not live without. You favorite shoes, your coffee maker, your computer, your TV, your music... list things that would make your day to day life hollow if they weren't there.

How long is your list? Half the stuff you own? 1/3? 1/4? For me... it's barely 1/8 of what I own. So, I realize that I am paying for 8 times the space I need for stuff that I can totally live without. That's 7 hours a day I might not need to be working (in a perfect world where math = reality, that is). That's 7 hours I can paint, promote my work, devote to my boyfriend, visit my family, volunteer, meditate, sing, dance, relax, read, travel, and play with my pets. And, if I'm working less I'm sleeping less. That adds at least an hour a day.

This is all well and good, but you must first determine what is really important to you. I'm lucky... it's very easy for me. I have had my eyes firmly focused on a path of creating art since I was a very small child, so I don't even have to ask myself what I want... it's always on the tip of my tongue. For most other people it isn't that simple... but I can guarantee you that to one degree or another, every single person out there wants more TIME.

And if you want more time, you have to give up space... or win the lottery.

The Purge

Since my realization that I have too much stuff, I have begun going through everything and starting to sell things. It's quite a liberating process.

It's also horribly overwhelming most of the time.

Some days I have all the energy in the world until I walk up to a stack of boxes... then all my enthusiasm falls flat because I'm staring down a mountain of things and knowing I can't just magically make them disappear in that moment. Sure... I could trash them, but that would just add to the landfill problem. I could donate them, but my savings is uncomfortably close to nothing and much of what I have is worth a decent amount of money.

I'm left with needing to take the time to sell things... and believe me, it is work! I have to organize it, decide what should go on Ebay or Craigslist, or what will be yardsale fare and ultimately the leftovers will go to auction to sell as box lots. Then I have to toss things that aren't sellable in any of those manners, or donate some of it. I've also been working on scraping metal stuff that I have so that I'll get some money for it and the items will be recycled.

All in all, I feel I have a pretty solid plan for having 80% of my posessions gone in a year and (hopefully) several thousand dollars back in the bank. (that includes selling 2 cars). I'm trying to undo as much of the damage as possible, damage I myself caused with my reckless spending through my teens and 20's.

My favorite part of all this is... I've barely spent any money on stuff in the last few months. In fact, I can sit here and list every single item I bought, becuase there are so few that they all stick in my mind... a case that holds 375 cds/dvds so that I could reduce the amount of space that collection takes up, a pair of leggings to wear under skirts in the winter, a nice zippered daytimer that both has the calendar and pouches for me to keep important documents all in once place, packaging supplies for the stuff I'm shipping, three paint brushes and a tube of paint, and three pairs of earrings (that were buy 2 get 1 free).

Just about everything I bought had a very specific purpose and was filling an actual need. The main exception is the leggings and the earrings, I could have gotten by without either and in the case of the earrings I certainly didn't need them at all. For a single purchase that served no other purpose than being pretty in two months time...I'm pleased. You don't want to know what I was buying in two months time before June... I would hazard a guess at ten times as many items.

Overall I'm doing well with this rearrangement, but it takes time and it's hard for me to remain patient. One day at a time...

Omniverous Bipeds

To me it is just as silly to say that you will eat meat and absolutely no plant products as it is to say you will eat plant products but absolutely no meat. (I am not referring to arguments of conscience or religion, that is a whole seperate topic.)

Whether you believe that we were sculpted from clay to be exactly as we are or that we evolved over millions of years, recognition must be made that however we got to be how we are, we were designed to eat both plant and meat products.


Every one of us has a natural reaction to most types of food. The smell of beef being grilled is almost universally appealing, as is the scent of citrus fruit. Most people enjoy the flavor of bacon and even if they don't eat the real deal do sometimes have bacon "flavored" foods. I realize I am making generalizations here, but my point is that if our minds and bodies instinctively respond to a food, then we were meant (or evolved) to eat it... in some quantity.

For example, our teeth are a good clue. Sharks eat nothing but meat, and they have nothing but razor sharp teeth for shredding muscle tissue. Deer do not eat meat, and their teeth are flat for grinding plant matter into pulp. Humans (and other omnivores like dogs and cats) have a blend of these types of teeth. We have sharper teeth to cut through and shred meat but also flatter teeth to help us grind away at plant foods.

Another example is our ancestors. They hunted -and- they gathered. They ate what was available and what their bodies told them was proper... based on the natural order of things.

My last example is about how certain foods are simply not appealing alone yet we eat cubic tons of them. Vegetable oil is in most processed foods if there is a fat content, it comprises a good bit of what margarine and mayonnaise are, and then there is deep frying. But if you take a bottle of the stuff (vegetable oil is usually corn oil) and smell it or taste it, it's pretty nasty. The one exception in my book is olive oil... preferably extra virgin (cold pressed is the kind which is easiest to extract and doesn't require heating). I can dip a piece of bread in olive oil and eat it and that is just about as pleasing as putting butter on bread. I can't say that about the types of oils that are normally used in mass production foods. Butter - an animal product - is what oils were trying to replace in our eating habits. Butter makes better cookies and breads, fries things to a lovely golden brown, and it tastes amazing simply spread on toast. But because it is an animal product it's considered taboo. Though butter is extremely rich, and I wouldn't eat a quantity of it alone, it's not because it is unappealing only because it is too much fat with nothing to balance it. If I get some on my fingers, I happily lick it off. If I get some oil on my fingers, I look for a paper towel to wipe it off with.

And as for a side note...

Neither humans nor animals were intended to eat so much grain. Not only do we consume tons of wheat and corn, but we also only eat meat which has been fed tons of wheat and corn. Corn as we know it does not occur naturally. Natural foods are ones which do not require any advanced farming to grow - no cross breeding or selective breeding to get what you want, but rather eating what you find. Most completely natural maize is inedible... it was bred to be what we eat today.

Heaven, Hell and Time

Science has recently proven that an observer at sea level will view an event happening higher in the atmosphere as moving faster, and an event below sea level as moving slower. In other words, people who live in the mountains age faster than those who live lower on the surface.

Throughout history, man has developed the idea that heaven is above us - imagined as being in the clouds or even in space. At the same time hell has been pictured as being below us. We knew that below us was a fiery pit (the core of the earth) before we could actually see it.

The idea is that in the fiery pit below us we would suffer eternally with events seeming to repeat themselves and agonizing with a single thought "forever". Above us, in heaven, time is imagined to move so swiftly that in heaven (or for God) everything happens in an instant or simultaneously. These ideas are consistent with this recent scientific discovery.

Just as we knew the double helix-spiral was an incredibly important image and only later discovered it to be the structure of DNA, we know that above us time appears to move faster and below us it appears to move slower...

What other pieces of legend, lore and mythology will we ultimately come to know as fact... just in different context?

A Year of Self Discovery

Just a few weeks ago was the one year anniversary of the date I moved into my first solo apartment. Prior to then, I had never lived alone. What was initially scary ended up being one of the most blissfull, educational, and liberating times of my life.

I had so much time to myself, to literally do anything I pleased. A lot of my time was spent writing and journaling, but also playing video games, cooking for myself, and going out to spend time with friends and family. I also started to take naps, something I've never really done. I didn't have cable, so while I could watch movies I had no other use for my TV and sitting in front of it happened rarely. One of my favorite things to do was lay across my bed on a sunny afternoon, with my kitty curled up next to me as I wrote or read.

It was during this time that I began this blog, began journalling on paper, and took up shooting pool again. More importantly, I reexamined my life, where I came from and where I thought I was going. The biggest and best revelation was that nothing in the past mattered anymore, and I had no idea where the future was going to take me. My only option, every day of this past year, was to live for that day, and that day alone. I have ideas about the future and the past still enters my thoughts from time to time, but I feel like I'm finally beginning to live without limits.

Once I go through this change to minimalism, most of the few remaining limits will vanish. I'll no longer have the job requirements, living space requirements, and I won't have any excuses left to keep me from going anywhere I want.

More and more, every day, the future is wide open and I love it.

Why Minimalism...

I've been talking an awful lot about my personal foray into minimalism. It may seem out of place on a blog that is primarily intended to deal with spirituality, but it really isn't.

Some of the greatest figures in our collective spiritual history followed a path of minimalism. Jesus. Buddha. Ghandi. and so many more...

When you give everything up, you enable yourself to truly trust in the world around you, to trust in God and Karma. You no longer have anything left that can be stolen from you or that you will fear being destroyed in a fire, or fear leaving behind. You learn that there is no posession that is worth strife or war. You learn that the true joys in life cannot be manufactured or bought.

It's about giving up the false security that having stuff gives us... having your home and posessions gives one the feeling that you are prepared for things that may come... whether it's a nice set of china you may use for a big family dinner or the instance that your coffee maker could break and you have that extra one tucked away, we take comfort in the things that we own.

Simultaneously, these things can give us pain that we don't even recognize. Knowing that those things are there can hold you back from moving... becuase you'd have to move them all. It may keep you tied to a job you don't like because you need the money to upkeep the home and maintain the stuff. It might even harm you in emotional ways - you have an item that was given by a family member, but you didn't want it and you can't part with it because of the guilt, and every time you see it you feel that guilt all over again because you don't want it and don't know what to do with it. It becomes a burden, and it is depressing.

That depression plagues many people who have no idea that it is the true source of their depression. It may not be the whole of it, but it is a contributing factor for a lot of people. The burden of owning things is tremendous, and it is a burden we lash to our own backs out of greed, fear and guilt.

Giving up that security blanket is an effort, but it is also a gesture of true faith. Trust that if you are in desperate need of something, the universe will provide it. Trust that you can survive on a lot less than you may think. Trust that God (or whatever you believe in) has your back.

That, my friends, is true faith. Letting go of all you hold on to, letting go of the physical things that you think you need to have in order to be safe. Letting go of your fear and your guilt, and allowing them to be replaced with joy and a lighter load to carry.

The Minimalist I've Always Been

The most recent step on the Journey for me is discovering that deep down I have always been a minimalist... I just didn't know it.

Growing up I had a ton of stuff. I had a huge collection of cat figures, toys and dolls, art supplies, clothes, etc. My family was very big on Christmas and birthdays, so at both of these times I would get a ton of toys and new things. These things were most often quantity over quality, and naturally as a child my room was packed to the point of spilling over. This lead to my room always being a consumate MESS. I had so much stuff and my big struggle was that I didn't know where to put anything. Having many things makes it harder to find a place for each thing to call home, though my mom frequently spouted the adage "a place for each thing and a thing for each place" at me. As I progressed towards teenagedom, the situation did not improve. I still had most of the stuff I had when I was younger, but I still was getting more stuff all the time. Then I get a job and - you guessed it - more stuff. By adulthood I already had enough stuff to fill a small storage unit that I was lugging around with me. At present, I have enough to fill a large storage unit (or three small ones).

Learning and reading about minimalism and how others feel about it, I've come to realize that having all that stuff my entire life lead to several major "problems" in my life...

1. It has caused me to seem messy, when I just get overwhelmed by everything that is there.

2. It has caused me depression.

3. It takes me away from my art and the things I love, because I have a constant to-do list in my head that never gets done.

4. It causes me to live outside my means (need a bigger apartment to house it all)and thusly to be afraid of losing/leaving a job that I don't love.

5. Having stuff seemingly fuels buying more stuff... and it's sucking away all the hard earned & saved money I have.

I understand now that all along, deep down, I've needed to have less stuff. I acted the way I was raised to act:

To think that you collect the things that you love and you keep them on a shelf.
You gather as much as possible because once you have it then if you ever need it, it will be there.
Buying a bigger home enables you to have more space and then you can get more stuff.
Shopping is therapy and makes you feel better.
Getting the highest possible paying job (even if you hate it) is important so you can upkeep your lifestyle of having stuff.

But I was acting against my true nature - to have little, to only have the things I truly love, to live in a small comfortable space with no need for extra storage, and to focus on art. I feel better just thinking about it, and every night when I slowly work on going through stuff and sorting it into "sell" "trash" "donate" (almost nothing is going in "keep"), I feel awesome. I dream about having a tiny apartment with nothing but what we use every single day in it. A few special items that mean a lot to us, and nothing else.

I'm also excited to start sleeping on a futon to sleep on someday soon, as I've always hated beds.

I grew up being told that I couldn't function and was not a valuable person, as if there was something wrong with me. At 31, I've learned that there isn't a problem with me, I just wasn't given the tools I needed to keep my life in order.


Self Esteem: +5



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Breaking It Down

I recently reached some what of a crisis level in my life. I was already considering that I could not save any money with the price of my apartment when my gall bladder had a fit. After lots of tests it was decided it needed to be removed, and that brought with it a flood of medical bills (even with insurance). These swiftly depleted my savings and forced me to move.

That move is what leads me to my point today - I have too much stuff.

As do most people. And why do we have it? Most of our things do not get handled or used, or even appreciated most of the time. And the few things that do are the only things we really need. I've come to the conclusion that hanging on to things is pointless for me, and the only things I really need are either information based (computer, books), entertainment based (movies, music, games), relate to daily life (clothes, dishes, cleaning supplies), or are used to create (art and jewelry supplies). Beyond these things, what else to I REALLY need? Do I need to have a comic book collection, or any of my other collections? I don't. But I have them because I feel like I need them...

I don't.

Life is about having experiences, not having posessions.

Even my art supplies are out of control. I have a ton of stuff that I think I might use someday... but I'm not using them today so why do I have them? I may never use them, so why do I have them? A good example is beads. I may only need 2, 4, or 6 of them, but they are sold in strands of 10-100 and so that is how many of them I have. Instead I should use what I need and then resell the rest... which is what I am going to begin doing. I'd like to reduce my jewelry supplies to no more than can fit in a small rolling suitcase. Anything beyond that is wastefull. I'd like to be able to fit all of my jewelry & art supplies under my desk... the ultimate in unwasted space.

The apartment I just left was a two bedroom...which should have been too big for a single person but I had used one bedroom as a "studio". It rarely got used because it was too full of stuff to actually use it. My two desks were constantly covered with new supplies I had purchased or projects that were in-between and I knew would probably never get finished. I hold on to supplies because I never know when I'll need them...

And don't even get me started on the number of shoes and handbags I own... or my jewelry and clothes. My goal is to have 7 pairs of shoes (and when they are worn I will discard and replace them), same with handbags. This is still a sizeable amount in the realm of minimalism, but it is an amount that makes sense for me. If I can fit all of my shoes, handbags, scarves, jewelry and other accessories into a single large plastic bin then I will be satisfied with that. As it is, I had eight pairs of shoes in their original boxes plus two trash bags full of shoes. I had a box full of handbags and a second box that has handbags, scarves, gloves, etc. Four plastic containers of jewelry (and then some), a makeup box and travel bag full of more, a box full of hair care products and a plastic bin full of hair accessories I rarely use.

A big part of this is because I buy things that look cool or I think I'll like, and they end up not working the way I wanted them to or being uncomfortable. Occasionally I even buy something and later decide that it's too flashy or just doesn't fit my style.

New proposition: no new things unless I'm replacing something old, damaged, or broken. It won't be easy as retail therapy has been quite a thing for me... I do that a lot and it needs to stop.

I'm going to purge as much as possible and then I am going to stop bringing new things in as well. I want to be able to live in a cheap one bedroom apartment if that is what my financial situation dictates, and never need to put my posessions in a storage shed again. Enough is enough.

If you want to take this challenge yourself, and reduce down to a minimalistic lifestyle and declutter your world, here are a few links that you may find helpful:

Zen Habits
mnmlist

Remember: You are who you are, not what you have.

I tried to say something...

And found I had nothing to say.


Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Seperation is an Illusion

We walk around through our daily lives, meeting other people and moving from place to place. We watch the clock and imagine that we are passing through time at a steady pace. Our opinions, thoughts, desires, and actions all are consistant with the idea that we are all seperate beings in seperate spaces doing different things and feeling different ways.

This, every bit of it, is Maya. It is an illusion.

Reality as we know it is a pattern of light and vibration, woven together to create the network that is the physical world. This network gives us a form and method of action that we would not otherwise have. It gives us a space to move around in, a reality to interact with on a whole new level. The key to this reality is that we believe it is real, beyond a shadow of a doubt. We believe it so firmly that some of us believe it is the ONLY thing that is real. It's a very skillfully crafted and effective illusion.

While we are here, information is fed to us via our senses. In the physical realm we have five of them, and any other type of "sense" is attributed to being a sixth. These senses interperet the vibrations of the physical realm and feed us information about where we are and what we are experiencing. Interestingly enough, these senses feel so REAL to us that any other sense is given a backseat, is untrained and thusly is very falliable. Even in those who are more attuned to them, these senses are still a ghost whisper in our minds that may or may not be accurately interpereted. The reason for this is that we have developed a focus on the physical (as was intended) and in doing so we never developed our ability to focus on the ethereal senses that we all have. We all tap into them on some level, though it varies from person to person. Anyone who follows a hunch, knows what others are thinking or feeling, or has intuition is tapping into this. If you have dreams that seem to come true, you are tapping into it. But, I am digressing into another subject. I have quite the penchant for tangents!

So, the physical world provides us with a starting point. It would be impossible to know pain or love without the experience provided to us here. This place takes energy beings and teaches them things about each other and themselves that they could not otherwise have learned. Because we are so entrenched here, it makes this the most difficult type of learning. It is to such a point that sometimes our experience is so overwhelming that we self terminate out of the program.

Beyond the veil, beyond the physical, we are not seperate. We are all part of a single living entity glowing in the darkness that is the void. That entity is probably most accurately called God. When we think of what God is/ should be, we think of a being who is all knowing, all seeing, and is everywhere at once. A being which is the very foundation of existance is the only possible true God. The supreme being is what we all combine to become, along with all of the light, energy, and matter in the universe. In otherwords, the collectiveness of all of us is a singularity.

You know, like the one the big bang sprang forth from? That one. The big bang is all part of the illusion. We are all still in that singularity, imagining we are seperate and taking up tons and tons of space. That the universe is vast and wide spread. We think, therefore we are what we THINK we are.

So there we are in this tiny singularity. Scientists looking at black holes (also singularities) can't tell what is inside. They can "sort of" trace what has moved into it, based on an impression left on the event horizon, but they cannot actually see what is all in there. The reason for this is that black holes have such tremendous gravity that not even light can escape from them. Inside each black hole could be another entire universe, and we'd never be able to tell!

Within our seemingly large but actually pretty small space, (potentially even as small as a single point of light) we exist. We exist without time or space, however we imagine the illusion of both. This is another seperation that is part of the illusion - that any moment other than THIS is real. We think that there is a yesterday and a tomorrow, when in fact there is no such thing. We think that we move through time, when in fact time moves through us - in our minds.

Some may question how it is possible for an entire universe to experience time together, to interact together, to collectively think this is all more real than actual reality. It makes sense if we are a collective being. We are all one, so we all act as one even though the illusion is that we are seperate. This is the collective unconcious - the part of us that knows we are all one but is essentially "not allowed" to be awake or active within our minds. We tap into it and that is where the "sixth sense" (which is the only true sense) comes from.

When mankind finally begins to accept the reality - that seperation is an illusion and what we are in now is essentially a playground for our collective mind, we will cease to have crime and harm against other humans, we will feel connected to all life and know that even that which is not alive by scientific standards is in fact alive. We will know we are as much a part of that piece of paper as it is a part of us. We will know there is no use in keeping anything for ourselves, because our brother is just as much us as we are. At that time, man may finally be able to evolve. We can be beings that combine the physical and the ethereal. Much of the universe is already this way, but we cannot see it that way because we are so mired in the physical. Scientists discover things that make absolutely no sense, and they try to explain it with rigid, small descriptions that are completely inadequate, call them working theories and then base other theories off of them.

"if what Dr. Johnson says is true is in fact true, then I say that it impacts object B in such a manner that my theory A is true."

Pull the string and it all unravels. (seriously. Much of modern science is based on Einsteins theories, some of which he himself stated were "probably incorrect")

Scientists are recently discovering that our DNA itself appears to be as much a waveform of light energy as it is an actual physical "thing". It can be changed and altered by light, radiation, magnetism and the like.

The more science advances, the more they confirm the true nature of our universe. The more science discovers, the more I find their "amazing new discoveries" are things the ancients wrote thousands upon thousands of years ago. We dismiss the ancient stories as myth and carve our own path, ultimately circling back to the same thing. Granted, what was written in ancient times was spelled out in a manner that lends itself to this being myth. There is much personification and reuse/misuse of terminology, and people thought in different ways back then than we do now. Were we to meet them face to face, they may-as-well be aliens for what little we have in common.

Then again, we are no more seperate from them than I am from you.

Everything we know is an illusion, and the only place to find the real truth is within us. Deep down every one of us knows, but we are blinded to that truth unless we start chipping away at those things we have always accepted as fact.

Battle of Wits

Anti-religion video

So many misconceptions, so little time. Truth be told, this video does bring up some valid questionable statements made by religions. As I myself am against religion, I can concur with and understand what they are saying. However, the ridiculousness of religion is not necessarily a good reason to doubt the existance of God alltogether.

It never ceases to amaze me that groups that are against one religion or another will resort to propaganda which resembles that of the religion in order to try and convert people. Consider that both Pagans and Atheists are somewhat against Christianity and much of the reasoning behind that is because of the propaganda and conversion, and yet they have employed the same tactics. I realize this is not across the board, but I've known many atheists and pagans who will do anything they can to make people doubt what they believe.

How is it any different?

This video is quite well put together. It took some time and possibly even some money. Why would atheists, who are "free" from religion, care that other people believe something?

Shouldn't they be satisfied that they know the "truth" and let the rest of them sort it out for themselves? After all, if atheists believe that there is no God and there is nothing waiting for us, then what could be gained by converting others? One of the few possibilities is self-assurance that they are right and they don't have to worry about themselves in the afterlife.

Any group/religion that feels the need to go out and mock or throw down another's religious beliefs has, to some degree, a need to justify their own. That means that atheists who create videos like this aren't 100% sure of themselves. But the more atheists there are, the more likely they are right.... right?

Anyway, points about the video:

1. Reference to the Bible makes note that it is written in a language we do not understand. Considering as how it was written nearly 2,000 years ago, this is not surprising. The simple fact of it being in another language does not negate it. How many different languages are actively spoken on the planet today? Do you know how to read/speak them all?

2. "You will teach your child, and they will teach their child, etc" Does anyone remember how some atheists were filing motions to have prayer removed from schools because they couldn't bear for their children to be exposed to the concept of God? Sounds like passing down your beliefs to your child, doesn't it?

3. Hell/Heaven - I concur with the video. The accepted concepts of heaven and hell have nothing to do with the reality, and were created over time by various authors and came to be considered fact despite their fictional origins. Science is closer to the truth than popular belief in this case - alternate dimensions/universes would seem to agree with both the idea of several layers of heaven/hell and with the Buddhist concept of the wheel of Karma. Sorry Dante.

4. Spreading the word around the world - treats religion as nearly an infection. Again, I agree. Religion is a trap and a prison that prevents people from seeing the truth because it has hard and fast rules that lock the mind into a routine and causes it to irrationally fear that which is different. Atheists is not as different as they would like to believe - this video could be seen as attempting to "spread the word".

5. I was raised Christian and was not told I had to appologize to God for the crucifixion of Jesus - only that it happened to wash away my sins and that I should be grateful. (I can't speak for other branches of religions that believe in Jesus to one degree or another)

6. Mention of tithing - It is commonly accepted that the tithe should be given to the church, (especially in Catholicism) but that is not necessarily true. Many give the money to charity. According to the Bible, Jesus could come to you as any person at any time. By giving to charity, perhaps you are giving your offering directly to God?

7. "continue to say the words out loud" God is not a guy with a white beard sitting on a throne in the clouds. I don't know atheism inside and out, but every time I hear someone talk about it, this seems to be the idea they ridicule. What if the real "supreme being" is the energy that makes up the universe, makes up all of us, and makes our lives possible and our souls exist? A sentient energy that binds us all together and makes us what we are, but does not necessarily play an active role in our lives. (except for things like the law of Karma) Is THAT so hard to believe? Maybe, only because we've all been told something different our whole lives.

Steps

There are nine principles that are keys in the Journey, and I consider them to be the stepping stones upon which one walks.

Karma, Matter, Light, Knowledge, Love, Sphere, Silence, Curiosity, Freedom

- Karma -

I tend to think of Karma not as a law, or a rule, or a guideline for behavior, but rather as a metaphysical version of Newton's description of the equal and opposite reaction. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, whether positive or negative, physical, emotional, or spiritual. When you do anything, it is like firing a gun. There is a recoil of that outward force which comes back at you. If your action has a positive impact on the universe, the recoil to yourself is positive. If it has a negative impact on the universe, the recoil to yourself is negative. It is a simple matter of balance, which relates to the concept that energy can be neither created nor destroyed. The same is true of Karma. It flows from one place to another, from one person to another, and is one of the base structures of the network which connects each of us to everyone else.

- Matter -

This is an illusionary matrix woven of light energy, upon which points "spin" and form the building blocks of matter. Our physical senses interact with these spinning points, and our ethereal senses interact with the matrix and energy to which they align. It is this matrix which allows the four forces to exist, as the matrix IS the interlock between points of matter. (Protons, Electrons, Neutrons, Photons, and so forth) As matter groups together to form molecules, substances, organisms, planets, etc, the matter pulls on the grid. The more matter is pulled into a single spot, the more other matter on the grid will be "drug" towards that spot (gravity). Some matter (and electrical charging of that matter) causes a directional and specialized pull on the grid which only affects matter that has a directional reaction to that pull (magnetism). The grid itself accounts for the weak and strong nuclear forces, the stronger being stronger because of how the points pull on the grid.

- Light -

There is a living energy force in this universe, which is all things. This force caused the grid to form and points on the grid to begin to spin and form matter, by speaking (vibrating). Whether or not this force has a "personality" is impossible to say with any certainty, but it was the big bang and what was here before the big bang, and it is still mostly concentrated at the center of the universe. Because the grid is comprised of this force, so are we, so in such, we are God and God is within us.

- Knowledge -

There is no shortage of books about religion, spirituality, etc. Much of the same information can be had on the internet as well. Some days, you need read only one book to find the truth which you are seeking... the Bible. No matter which source your information comes from, remember that all literature is a work of man. Even the Bible, for though it is said to be the word of God, it has been written and re-written by man countless times. Do not take anything you read to be true, but allow yourself to consider the possibility that it is true and to consider the possibilities that arise from that notion.

- Love -

I have found on the Journey that my perspective on these three categories of relationships has changed dramatically. The Journey may dictate for you, as it does for me, that I look at relationships more fluidly. Every single one is temporary in one way or another. Whether by death or disenchantment, every relationship ends. If you begin a relationship knowing it is not permanent, you understand that you must cherish every moment of that relationship and never take it for granted. It will enable you to enjoy others more fully, and to be less posessive and demanding of them (if you are truely ready). You may even find yourself to have a polyamorous nature, loving everyone as equals and not limiting yourself to a single romantic relationship. You also may learn that the love you feel for anyone - friend, family, lover - is essentially the same. This is freeing in that you now know that every person you love is of equal importance, and that at any given time we all have numerous loves though usually only one is physical in nature. Cherish everyone you know while you have your time with them, and when that time has ended, allow them to pass without struggle. Love freely, love completely, love without regret or expectation.

- Sphere -

On the Journey, the way of life we know begins to change. Our interest in many things fades, we may find new interest and joy in other things. It could even go so far as to have a strong desire to cast of the yoke of society and return to a freer, more natural way of life. It is unfortunate that this may not be possible for most. In the meantime though, you can loosen the bonds and begin to find a more comfortable place to exist. You may desire (and it is reccomended) to return also to a more natural way of eating. Seasonal eating, raw eating, hunter-gatherer eating are all possibilities (and in the future I shall discuss a blend of these which I am currently developing for myself). These foods will not only fuel the body as it needs, but also the mind and soul.

- Silence -

Meditation in Buddhism is a fairly specific process. Meditation in practice, especially in the Western world, can be many things and still be beneficial. The primary focus is to clear the mind and have a sort of time out. You can do this in the bath, laying there feeling the water and thinking of nothing, watching rain, by staring into the flame of a candle or watching incense smoke, even watching a screen saver, fish swim, etc. I do reccommend that you also try traditional Eastern meditation as well - sitting on the floor (or a mat), using a mantra, touching thumb to middle finger to complete the energy paths, training yourself to think nothing whatsoever for as long as you are comfortable. The most important thing that any type of meditation does is connect the concious mind to the soul. This connection can benefit your Journey tremendously.

- Curiosity -

Let curiosity be your guide. If you see or hear something and want to know more about it then you definitely should research it. Jot it down so that you won't forget. Keep a notebook with you at all times (even a tiny one) so that you can make note of anything that strikes you. Leave no stone unturned, truth is everywhere and you will begin to make amazing connections between things you never would have dreamed could relate to each other.

- Release -

Forgiveness will set you free. The only thing that continuously ties us to the negative events of our lives is our inability to forgive others or ourselves for what has happened. Have you ever heard someone who was upset repeat the same thing over and over? This is what we do internally if we do not forgive. It traps us because we repeat only the same thing and are unable to see beyond it, but if we stop and let it go, our eyes open. If you truely understand Karma and our place in this world, you will understand that what happened to you was necessary, no matter who did it or why. Thusly we must forgive those people in our lives whom we draw to us to be the players in our own realities, for it is us who write their parts and they merely actors, helping us along our journey and us helping them along theirs. From every evil comes good, and from every good comes evil. When you refuse to forgive someone, you harm only yourself. When you forgive them, you set yourself free. The only way to be free to walk the path is to be forgiving.


The Journey is about letting go. Letting go of pain, of the physical, of material, of need and desire, of all the things which drags humanity down and keeps us bound to the physical plane. As you progress on your Journey, you will know it. You will see different things around you, the world will seem to change, but truely it is you who changes as your perception will no longer be the same.

My Journey

It all began in a hotel somewhere in Maryland...

I'm just kidding.

The first time my eyes were opened to the imperfection of Religion was when I was about ten. I was being a good girl and going to church, which I believed to be a safe place. At that age I was teased in school, my peers could be utterly relentless and I often came home crying. One day at church, a kid I went to school with as well began to pick on me. There were adults around - Christian adults - who did nothing about it. I was very hurt, and I realized that even in the house of God I was not safe from this cruelty. It was my first taste of the hypocrisy of Christians as well.

Through the years, my dissent from the ideas of Christianity that I was raised with grew. I found more and more contradiction and hypocrasy, and more and more frequently I was hurt and offended and just plain shocked at the actions of people, Christian or otherwise. I recognized what Christ represented, and that none of these people were true Christians as they didn't in any way strive to be like him. I stopped calling myself Christian.

Then came years of confusion, of self doubt, and of fear. I read about other religions and learned what it was they believed and yet there were still vestiges of fear that if I walked away from what I had been taught I would go straight to hell. I retained my belief that Christ represented something extremely important to mankind, and continued my study of other religions. I asked for a sign that I wasn't crazy, or alone. Then one day I was speaking to a friend I hadn't known very long, and we got into a discussion about religion and found that our beliefs were very similar despite having very different backgrounds and upbringing. I felt that she was what I had been looking for, I knew that I was not alone and that I wasn't the only person disatissfied with the religions out there.

It was about that time that my foray into Wicca occured. I know that many who reject Christianity seem to end up as Pagan or Wiccan, but I was not one of them. While I again found virtues and very good ideas within both religions, they still had the thing that drove me away - they were still religions.

Then came the years of darkness. I stepped away from my beliefs completely, and essentially took a time out. I had become overcome with fear and at that same time I had found what I thought was my soulmate. (and in a way, I suppose he was) I shut everything off, I shut down the channels, closed myself off from my family, and lived an entirely different lifestyle than I ever had before. I went from working second shift for more than 10 years to working first shift, became far more responsible and began thinking about family things. I got on a more solid schedule than I had ever been on before and saved money. Near the end of this time period, things began to push their way open again. This was around the age of 28, at Saturn's Return, (who also happens to be the original ruling planet of my sign) and it really turned my world upside-down.

Things broke open, my intuition came back with a vengence, my spirituality flooded back, it was if I had been asleep and woke up again. All it took was the opening of a discussion with my friend, the one who later asked what I would call my religion if I were to start one. The person I had thought was my soulmate showed himself to be nothing that I thought he was, and I realized that we had already had the time we were meant to have, that the time had passed, and my destiny was pushing me on to something else.

Since that time I began this blog and have been vigorously researching every bit of spiritual, religious, historical, ancient, paranormal, scientific, and philosophical information I can get my hands on. My thirst for knowledge is unending, and my intuition continues to intensify by leaps and bounds. As I learn, I write. I notate both what I have learned that is relevant and I also write my own intuitions and ideas as well. I've filled many notebooks in just under a year, and the stack continues to grow.

I have discovered so many facinating things that I never knew, and I have also found that some of my theories are echoed in other peoples ideas and also in actual findings of science. Most importantly, the more I learn the more I realize how little I really know... If I really know anything at all.

That brings me here. I am on a path, a path I call the Journey, a path I have been driven to share with you. My writings are here for your perusal, and soon I shall be posting my journey related art as well. I also hope to someday organize all of the information within my notebooks and possibly even publish it in some format.

To those of you who are coming along for the ride, Welcome.

Fact or Fiction?

What is it that you know to be absolute, irrefutable fact? Do you know that the Earth is round and the stars in the sky are actually in the universe beyond? Do you know that water is wet and whether there is one true religion?

Many people will answer yes to every one of those questions. But do we really know any of those things? Is there such a thing as fact? I think that there is not. All knowledge that we are able to aquire comes from two sources: our senses - which are ruled by our brains, and other people, who are falliable.

Because our senses are interpereted by our brains, we are able to subconciously "set the dice" and creatively tell ourselves the story of what is going on around us. The brain does not recognize it's own malfunctions. A person could not know that they have a mental disorder if there is no one who is telling them that something is wrong or different about them. Colorblind people would not know that they are color blind if there were no comparison to "normal" color viewing people. Blue as I understand it could be Yellow to someone else, and neither of us may be aware of it. It is also impossible for a single human to experience an event in it's entirety. Our attention is limited to one fragment of what is happening, so even if we are at ground zero we cannot possibly know everything which happened.

As far as knowledge from other humans... I shouldn't HAVE to explain this one but I will. Human beings have a reputation for being incapable of relaying information without interjecting opinion, exaggerating, or omitting certain facts. We cannot re-tell a story without it changing. We also are generally unable to see the other side of things, or to see neither "side" and tell only the factual account of events as they happened. Our emotions are permanently entangled with our recollection and memory, so even if we have a pure desire to re-tell something exactly, we may not be able to do so.

Thusly, everything you have ever been told is most likely a lie, to one extent or another, intentional or not. If you think that you or anyone else knows something, anything, to be true, you are wrong. To comprehend and accept this is to take the first step on the Journey.

The Journey

What is the Journey?



A while ago a friend and I were discussing religion, philosophy, and similar lines of thought, and she asked me what I would call my religion, if I organized my thoughts into one.



I told her that it could not possibly be a religion as I am against religion. It would be only the seeking of the truth, and the best name for it would be "the journey" because it is a path of learning and discovery that never ends. You do not find the answers because while you are human, that is not possible. You do not reach an ending place or a comfortable place or "home" because while you are human, that is not possible. Anyone who feels that they have found their place has not, they have found a place where they decided to rest and chose not to develop further. Perhaps someday they shall do so, or perhaps they are waiting for their next incarnation. The journey extends beyond this life, beyond this planet, possibly beyond this universe. The only way to follow the journey is to continually remind oneself that you know nothing. You have learned things that may or may not be true, you may write them down. You know that everything is theory and nothing is fact. The sky is not blue, the sky is colorless. And yet, to non-human eyes those elements may have a color we cannot even imagine. So to say we know anything for certain is silly, because it's all about vantage point and during the course of The Journey, that vantage point shall change.



Do I want anyone to follow me on The Journey? No. If anything, I am a guide, but I am hesitant to even call myself that. I am merely sharing my thoughts and what I have found in my search. Does that mean everything written in this blog is correct? Of course not. I'm sure that somewhere in all my writings I have good theories and I may even have hit on some sparks of truth, but I will never claim that I am right or that I know anything to be true. It's all good ideas that I'm sharing, and seeing how they work out. Are there rules to the Journey? No. This is not a religion. It is a path, and the differences are too numerous to describe here, except to say that the Journey is fluid like water and Religion is concrete like stone. If you are in stone you cannot move. If you are in water, you are lifted and lightened and you can travel with the water but also through it.



The Journey:

Is personal.

Is enlightening.

Has no set path.

Doesn't follow any religion but acknowledges they all contain some truth.

Can be physical, emotional, and/or spiritual at any given time.

Flourishes in an open mind.

Is an unending list of questions.

Shall only appear to those who are ready.

Has no rules.

Can bring you closer to and farther from people around you.

Can change everything you know to be true.

Will change your life.

May cause you to cast off material posessions and try to live only in the spirit.

Finds value in the Bible, Quran, Vedas, and any other text in existence.

Has ideas rather than beliefs.

Is fluid and changes frequently.

Will show you things you never thought were possible.

Will develop your intuition and other intangible feelings.

Is up to you.

I shall be writing numerous posts on the subject of the Journey, including discussion of how to begin and speaking about my personal journey thus far. If you are ready for this path, it will open up to you. You may already be on it but call it something else. Please understand that a million roads can lead to the same point, there is no one right way, no one teacher.

My writing is only a guide, as when you are on this path you will find that you guide yourself to your best conclusions far better than anyone else could. Best of luck, and I hope that my words are beneficial to you in some way.

Also, I will gladly assist you and answer questions if I am able, you may ask in comments or send me a direct message. With your permission I will post questions & answers to this site.

-Ri

40 Days and 40 Nights

The act of fasting is a deeply spiritual one. It is repeatedly mentioned in the Bible and other religious texts as being a method to come closer to God and to "prove" one's spirituality, or even to demonstrate one's willingness to cast off the cloak of flesh that we wear.

Christians honor the forty days and forty nights of Christ's fast and seclusion in the wilderness with Lent. It is a time when people give up some trivial thing such as candy or watching TV for forty days.

Fasting has been heralded as useful for anything from spiritual enlightenment to a miracle cure for the body. I have read that it can (supposedly) cure cancer and illness, aid meditation, and so on. What is more certain is that it can aid weight loss, detoxify the body, and relieve symptoms of food allergy and intolerance. It is among our natural defenses against illness (we lose our appetite when ill) and one of our natural responses to grief.

I find fasting to be especially important at this moment, because we are in the midst of an epidemic. The amount of food served in typical restaurant portions is enough fuel to sustain one for a day or two. And that's just one meal. The average American eats nearly 4000 calories per day. The average human being requires less than half of that per day, preferably in primarily natural/raw states.

We consume large quantities of refined carbs and processed foods, things which have been preserved and sterilized and injected. Nature's foods, perfect sustenance as they should be, are deep fried, salted, genetically altered, selectively bred, condensed into syrups or ground to powders, remixed, recombined, and extruded to achieve foods which are super-flavored to the point that natural foods seem to have no flavor (when they actually have it in abundance).

There are thousands of diets, with tons of new ones every year, that tout some way or another of eating "just this" or "just that" to miraculously lose weight and feel better. These diets each work for some people some of the time because they have a small piece of the right idea but then fluff it over in the guise of allowing gluttony or some other comfort. A good example is that with the Atkins diet, you cannot consume processed flours and sugars in any quantity, so it reduces these potentially toxic foods from the body. On the low fat diet, you are restricted from eating overly processed meats and cheeses and fried foods, which again reduces potentially toxic foods from the body. However both of these diets allow for the continuation of some toxic foods, which is why they can never completely succeed.

Returning to the way that humans had to eat prior to our agricultural days is an excellent method to returning to health. This natural way of eating included completely unprocessed foods, foods eaten only when they were fresh and usually ripe, natural fasting, and consumption of little sugar and lots of water. When animals were eaten, all of the animal was eaten. Organs, fat, light and dark meat, skin, even marrow and brain. Humans ate foods based on the season, because they didn't have the luxury of flying fruits in from warmer climates during the winter.

I propose that a return to such a way of eating, and including deliberate fasting is a method to improving whole body health - not just to lose weight. Beginning with a fast is probably the easiest way to start the diet - this time spent not eating will allow the body to break it's addictions to sugar, carbs, nicotine and caffeine. This way, when you begin to eat as nature intended, you have already broken the bonds to your previous way of eating. The added benefit is that the fast has changed the way you taste food. Anything you eat after a lengthy fast will taste amazing - even something so simple as a piece of cucumber. After a fast you will rediscover the way food is supposed to taste and just how much you enjoy simple, raw, natural foods. Most of us today grew up eating foods that were over seasoned, over mixed, and over processed. Even home cooking saw a lot of this, as our moms used canned tomato sauces, pre-made pastas, mayonnaise, salad dressings, processed cheeses, canned fruits and vegetables. You cannot understand how over saturated with flavor most store bought foods are until you spend time eating a diet which does not have this saturation. After some time spent on a natural diet you may even find prepared foods completely distasteful and they could cause stomach upset because they are things your body should reject but has developed a tolerance.

An ideal, very healing and cleansing fast is described as 30-40 days. This is the duration of Lent. The length of the fast is important, as we are more affected by lunar/solar cycles than we realize, and a fast lasting more than 30 days covers an entire lunar cycle and all the changes in our mood and bodies that comes with that cycle. Whether you hold any belief regarding the spiritual significance of the moon, you cannot deny that there are slight changes in the gravitational impact on earth during it's cycle as evidenced by the tides. This has biochemical effects on all life on earth, which is what lead to the perception that people act differently around the time of a full moon. The additional significance of Lent is that it is a recurring yearly event. To fast every year on Lent (water, juice or fruit fast) would be a habit that will keep you in a cycle of healthier eating. It will also help to break the bonds of "need" in your mind that keep you tied to the American idea of what is appropriate amounts of food to eat.

When you fast you will find (as most people do) that you actually have more energy and feel better as the fast goes on. It provides reset time for the body, it cleanses and allows your digestive tract to heal itself without distraction. The energy normally used for digestion (which is quite a lot), is put towards more important things like repairing your body. It has also been said (and this may be more theoretical) that when your body begins to consume some of it's own tissues, it takes the old, diseased, and dead tissues first.

A statement like that, if true, could uphold the idea that fasting can cure cancer. Cancer is damaged tissue that is replicating itself, when that replication should have been turned off because the tissue is damaged. If the body goes after damaged tissue first, then fasting should consume that cancerous tissue along with any other tissues in the body that are past their peak. Then when one returns to eating, the body will regenerate new tissue to replace those which were consumed. It seems it is universally accepted that when the body is starved and turns to consumption of it's own tissue, it's a terrible thing. Maybe we, in our overfed and fat society, are making assumptions based on less fact than they should be.

Medical science is beginning to accept the fact that fasting is actually good for the body, and perhaps someday we will learn that fasting is also necessary for the body to maintain it's own good health. After all, the Bible tells us so in it's own way, as it always does.

Armageddon Obsession

Stories based on apocalyptic writings have found their way into mainstream culture over and over througout history. Lately, it seems, our interest in this concept has reached a fever pitch. Perhaps it's the idea of 2012, or our growing morbidity in film and media.

When I was a child there was an "end of the world" scare. My strongest memory of this was that my friend was taken out of school by his mother that day. I do not remember how the world was supposed to end, but nonetheless the event stuck with me. Since then I have seen doomsday prophecies and dates on the covers of tabloids countless times, and have heard numerous persons saying how the end is near, the world is only getting worse, God is coming back for us.

Where does this really come from? People have a clear desire and need to think that everything is about to end. Regardless of the manner and timing, it is common for people to consciously or subconciously desire such an event. Particularly that it happen in their own lifetimes. This need drives us out to see every apocalyptic movie and makes us want to read or learn about it.

There are a few possibilities as to what causes this need within us.

1. We want something exciting or amazing to happen in our lifetimes, and to be apart of it / play a major role. Let's face it, most people want to be heros, or identify with heros in fiction. Many people claim to be reincarnated versions of great figures in history, or that they were apart of or in a certain major historic event. (sinking of titanic, Hindenburg explosion, Pearl Harbor, etc) This shows what we already know, that humans have a deep seated need to feel important, respected, remembered.

2. We have a desire to stave off the inevitable. We may want to see doomsday not for the reason of enduring it or being the hero of it, but rather to see the story play out in favor of mankind. Many apocalyptic movies and stories have happy endings in which the apocalypse has either been averted or we have found a way to survive it somehow. (Fifth Element, 2012, even Austin Powers) This shows a need of mankind to know that we shall survive and persevere - even in the most impossible of events.

3. We are unhappy. This is, I think, the most likely (or most prevalent) cause of our obsession. We live in society as it is, we do as we should, we seek out the ideal lifestyle as dictated by society. I.E.: The American Dream (for most of my readers). I've scoffed at the idea before, and I'm going to do it again. The American Dream is, unfortunately, not the bill of goods we expected. We are young and we think that if we just have a decent job, nice house and a beautiful family that we can spend the best years of our lives happy and looking forward to little more than retirement with a healthy pension and grandkids. We work towards these very goals, but the truth of the matter is that this elusive peace simply doesn't exist. You cannot live within the confines of society and be a happy and satisfied human being. It is the system of our own design which has become the prison, the walls from which we cannot escape. We aren't forced to stay here, we trap ourselves here. People cry and moan that the government is doing all these things to keep us in line, or that capitalism is the culprit, or even blame the police for doing their jobs. Citizens of a society simultaneously complain about the system and know that they can't survive without it. It is a double edged sword, in that society protects us from many things while taking others away.

The reason that this ties into our love of an apocalypse and facination with armageddon is that deep down most people are desperate to cast off the rules and regulations of society, the need to work a job and clean a house. This way of life isn't what we need, yet we tell ourselves that it is. It is destroying our bodies, our hearts and our minds, and yet we are more afraid of losing this life than anything else. We cannot escape it willingly. We neither know how or have the will (for most people anyway) and we feel like the only way that we can find a better way of life is to have everything forcibly destroyed.

Then, in the aftermath those who are left can return to the earth, to live in harmony with it. No jobs, no homes, no permanence. The freedom to wander and just be, with our only daily concern being that of hunting and gathering food, and finding fresh water.

But, then there is the unfortunate reality... If such a thing were really to happen, we'd end up with a situation more like that illustrated in The Book of Eli. Man would randomly and mercilessly kill man for supplies, even for food. Heavily populated areas would be extremely dangerous, as outbreaks of riots, thefts, and murder would be very high. Even light population areas could prove dangerous. We would not have access to cars for very long, as we would run out of fuel quickly. Mass produced food would be gone as would most farming. We would be forced to either rely on what few left over supplies we could find or we would have to step away from civilization and learn to live off the land again. It would be very difficult for many people. There are many who haven't a clue how to procure their own food from nature, who might not even be able to recognize carrots growing in a field, becuase they only ever see the orange root and pay no attention to the actual plant. Many people wouldn't know how to hunt without a gun or pre-made bow. There are even those who might not be able to fish without having a mass produced fishing rod (and those who couldn't even do it with the device). Then there is constructing or finding shelters, getting clean water, lack of healthcare.

I think that humans can and would survive such an event, even in small numbers wide spread across the globe. Natural selection would come into play hard and fast, with those who are not skilled enough to create the tools they need and those who aren't healthy enough to endure such a lifestyle being the first to die out. Those who live on will need to be resourceful and strong, but they also have the potential of being more content than any of us today can hope to be.

They certainly won't have time to sit around and worry if the world is going to end someday soon.

7 Deadly Sins

The seven deadly sins have long been a subject both of religion and culture. They show up in art, movies, are carefully considered by the religious masses, and so on. People know what they are, and some people can even recite all seven, but do they really understand the implications of these sins?

Original vs New list

The list of seven sins has changed over the years (altered by the Catholic church, of course). The "purest" form could be considered that from the book of Proverbs - a list of six things which the Lord detests, and the seventh which he hates: (I have paraphrased for clarity)

Pride
Lying
Killing Innocents
Deliberate Wickedness
One quick to cause harm
Bearing False Witness
Causing dissent among family/friends

Latin list (14th century):
Superbia (Pride)
Avarita (Greed)
Luxuria (Extravagance)
Invidia (Envy)
Gula (Gluttony)
Ira (Wrath)
Acedia (Discouragement)

Modern (final) list:
Greed
Sloth
Envy
Lust
Rage
Pride
Gluttony

I will be discussing the modern list of seven sins, for the sake of relevance.

Greed: This sin is a fairly obvious one. The desire for collection / amassing / aquiring wealth, posessions, even power.
Sloth: Often viewed as laziness and a lack of hygene. However, this replaced Acedia, which could be considered more a discouragement or denying one's given talents, allowing them to fall to waste. I feel that both of these definitions should be considered, as not using God given talents could be seen as denying God himself.
Envy: The desire to have what someone else has, or wishing them harm for having something which you do not. Alternatively, I think this also encompasses the desire to have something better than someone else has, the "Jones'" syndrom, and being unhappy that someone else even has something equal to what you do (the feeling of not being unique because others share your posessions / designs / style)
Lust: Strictly speaking, this sin has generally referred to sexual desire or extreme sexual desire, however I feel a more narrowed definition is more appropriate - deviation in sexuality that is harmful. Rape, sexual desire that overruns life, and sexual habits which are emotionally and physically harmful to oneself and others.
Rage: Anger to the point that it causes harm to oneself or others.
Pride: Believing one or one's works are better than that of others, more deserving of praise, refusing to be flexible due to one's pride in oneself, feeling that one must behave a certain way out of pride even if doing so causes harm to oneself or others.
Gluttony: Consumption to extremes, taking more than one's fair share, alcoholism, drug use.

We know what the sins are, we know their general definition and application, but do we know why they are bad? For some, it's obvious. If you kill someone out of Rage, then Rage is bad. However, many of the other sins are less obvious, and even the straightforward definitions do not explain the true harm of these sins.

When you are envious, what harm does it cause? If not acted upon, then you harm no one else. Or do you? If you are envious of a friend having nicer shoes, but you say nothing and don't, for example, steal their shoes, then what harm has been caused? It's inside of you. Your envy, if unchecked, can grow to the point that it harms the friendship. You may be less kind to them, you could even be cruel or ultimately break the friendship off. It isn't likely over a single pair of shoes, but if you're envious that they have a better life than you then yes it is possible. Even if you never outwardly show your envy or act upon it, it still causes harm to you.

Everyone asks the purpose of life. Why are we here? What is the meaning, the point, why bother? The point is to ascend. To be come greater than we currently are, and ultimately to become like the Christ. He was an ascended being, as was the Buddha, and several other historical/religious figures. So long as your mind is mired in one or more of the "deadly" sins, you are held back from possibility of ascension. Here is a revised definition of the sins, to illustrate what I mean.

Greed: Desire to accumulate physical possessions or power causes you to pay attention only to that desire. Everything else fades in your view, and you focus only on your intent to aquire. If your intent is focused on aquisition of the physical, it is removed from any desire to aquire the spiritual.

Sloth: Denying one's body, the need for physical exertion leads to a deadening of the body which spirals downward and only gets worse. To not use and work the body causes the body to feel badly, it actually causes pain. The more pain you feel the less you want to do things, and eventually you do nothing at all. This prevents one from living, from breathing, from attuning with the earth and the heavens. Because the body feels dead, the soul also feels dead because it's only means of obtaining information and expressing itself is through the physical body so long as it is encased in the physical body. As to the second definition, that of denying one's talents, you are failing to exercise the soul in the same way that not doing physical exertion fails to exercise the body. Due to fear or other constraints we place on ourselves, not exercising the soul causes it to feel dead.

Envy: This is very similar to Greed and Gluttony. The desire to have something, or for others not to have something drives the focus of the mind towards that one goal, that one obsession. If you can think of nothing else, you can think of nothing beyond the physical world. Becoming consumed by envy is to see only one thing and blind yourself to all other things. This also prevents one from seeing the beauty in their own lives and appreciating what they already have. In other words, again denying that which God has given you.

Lust: I think of lust as very similar to Envy. It is an extreme desire for one thing, and the repeated seeking for that one thing, and repeated action within that range. Fetishes are a good example - now I'm not saying fetish is always a sin. What I am saying is that the person who cannot find sexual arousal or satisfaction without involvement of a fetish has succumbed to a level of lust that inhibits them from fully enjoying life. Because they need that one thing to find satisfaction, they think of little else. When they see it, they may be automatically distracted from whatever else is going on in their life. The man who wrecks his car over a woman crossing the road has succumbed to lust, because it has taken his focus away from his own safety and wellbeing. Lust is also dangerous in it's exhaultation of physical form. We are not physical beings, we are only assuming such form temporarily as a method to experience and learn. Becoming too engrossed in the physical blinds us to our true nature. Sex is fine, but as all things, moderation is best. If it overtakes or becomes your life, it has reached the point of Lust.

Rage: Everyone has heard the phrase "to see red." This is a very descriptive way of saying that a person has become so angered that they can think of nothing else. As in other sins, the common theme of blocking out the rest of life or even their spiritual nature is the real harm done here.

Pride: We are all spiritual beings in physical bodies. Each body has weaknesses, each mind has faults. Everyone is ultimately equal, and we are ultimately one spiritual body. Pride's greatest harm is in the illusion of seperation. "I wouldn't act/look/be like that, I am different from them" is the statement of pride, and it is a statement which sets one apart from others. Pride also has roots in the destruction of kindness, as if you hold your pride over someone else, you lose respect for them, and if you don't respect someone you are far less likely to be kind to them. Pride in oneself can also lead to avarice - it is pride that causes one to fear failing, and the fear of failing can cause one not to even try and thusly give up one's talents.

Gluttony: This sin is among the more difficult to define or draw a line where it begins and ends. The reason why is because consumption of various resources is necessary for life. We must eat, we must drink. I believe need becomes gluttony when one reaches the point where the need ends and the consumption continues. For example, if you have a bag of chips and you eat a few handfuls, you have likely satisfied your need. Finishing off the bag anyway would be gluttony. There is no hard/fast rule of where that line falls, but I think we all know deep down when we have crossed that line and are continuing to consume for the pleasure of it rather than the need. As far as alcohol and drugs, neither are necessary for life but we consume them anyway. Doing so in small quantities, primarily for the former and not the latter, is acceptable. Doing so on a regular basis and to the point where one is harmed by it (vomiting, poisoning, increasing addiction) stands as gluttony. Now, the harm in these actions is diverse. For one, gluttony is escapism and thusly one is denying one's feelings and memories in order to find oblivion and not face whatever it is they are escaping. The things that happen in our lives are lessons, good and bad, which benefit the development of our minds and souls. If we run from them, refuse to face the pain and try to drown ourselves, we deny the value of these lessons and ultimately deny our purpose on Earth.

The seven deadly sins are both specific and general, however the idea of moderation rules them all. In moderation, one can prevent any of the sins from overtaking themselves and work to keep themselves in check. The Buddha denied himself - he gave up a life of luxury for a life of near poverty, he refused food and other physical needs while he searched for deeper spiritual meaning. In his quest we find the true nature of the sins - these are thoughts and actions which bind us to the physical world, and they are chains which we ourselves can untangle in order to release our soul to find peace. The sins are "deadly" in the sense that every one of them blinds and deadens us to the reality beyond our reality, and prevents us from finding the things that would truely fill us with joy and comfort. Instead we try to fill ourselves with false comforts outlined in this list.

The thing about false comforts is that they are not satisfying. Many times, even as we are doing them, we think to ourselves "why am I doing this?" and afterwards we may think "that wasn't satisfying, that wasn't what I really wanted, what else can I try?" or even "I want more" and we try more things. We look to what others have and think that it may satisfy us so we seek it out. This does not satisfy us, so we look again to something else. It is a continuous chain of looking from one vice to the next, sure that this next thing will fix the gaping hole inside and make us feel better. In truth, none of these vices shall ever satiate us. The satisfaction we seek is in pursuit of the spiritual, the exaultation of the spirit body over the physical body.

In contrast to the seven deadly sins, there is a list of seven virtues as follows:

Chastity (refraining from Lust)
Temperance (refraining from Gluttony)
Charity (refraining from Greed)
Diligence (refraining from Sloth)
Patience (refraining from Wrath)
Kindness (refraining from Envy)
Humility (refraining from Pride)

If you are troubled by one or more of the seven deadly sins, there are actions to take to help you begin to satisfy what it is you truely desire. Here are some examples:

Pride - Look for things in others which you admire. Compliment them. Note similarities in yourself and others actively. Get to know more about people whom you may have felt were below you, and you will find that they too can be good people with good characteristics. Learning to appreciate others for their unique values is a good way to combat feelings of superiority. Pride is a way of clinging to what you think is good about yourself. Recognize the good in others and they will recognize the good in you, giving you a more positive affirmation that is not damaging.

Envy - The best way to combat a feeling of not having everything you desire is to place yourself around those who have less. Volunteer to help out the homeless and the needy. Work at a soup kitchen. You'll find out just how fortunate you are compared to those who have nothing, and by helping others you'll gain something more valuable than any amount of money.

Wrath - If you are quick to anger and your anger quickly becomes extreme, it may not be easy to counterbalance. When people do small things that anger you, think not about what they did but *why* they did it. Try to find a logical reason why their supposed harmful action happened. For example, if you get cut off by someone and it causes you road rage, think about why they pulled out when they did. Is it possible that you are on a very busy road and it is difficult to find a spot to pull out? Are you being excessive about the distance you want them to leave you when they do so? Is it possible they are having a really bad day and just aren't thinking clearly, and now feel guilty for having cut you off? When you start to sympathize with others and make an effort to understand their reasoning and what is going on in their life, it becomes harder to be angry with them and ultimately can help you control your anger at other moments as well. Sometimes we are quick to anger because deep down we believe if we get angrier and louder first, others will be more afraid of us and less likely to confront us, so really what we are battling is the guilt that comes from confrontation with others, and them pointing out our faults or errors. Rather if you learn to face your own faults and errors, you can no longer fear their impact on your life, but merely accept them as they are and work to improve yourself without hinderance.

Sloth(Avarice): Sometimes discouragement from performing daily/necessary activities is all in the mind. You think it's going to be harder, take longer, more effort than it really will. Set a schedule at which time things must be done and stick to it. Getting into the habit of doing something can make it far easier to do it and you less likely to put it off. Try new things, try to explore what you are good at. If you are afraid of failing, know that you will never conquer your fear unless you poke holes in it first. Don't go for the big banana, do small things that weaken your fear. If you are afraid of speaking in front of people but that is your calling, begin by doing smaller things like telling a story to a group of friends or family, making a small speech at a wedding or event, even hosting a party can make you more comfortable being in front of people. Work your way up to bigger things, and you'll find that each step along the way is not nearly as big as it looked from the ground.

Greed: Simply put, to conquer Greed you must let go. Start by giving away one item that you haven't used in months. In another month, give up two items that you haven't used in months. Work your way up until you are comfortable sorting out posessions you don't need (and don't REALLY want) anymore and giving them away to others or to charity. When you have change, drop it in a donation jar. Eventually, toss a whole dollar in occasionally. After a while, as you become more comfortable, you can donate $10, $20 or more to charities. Give your time, find the value in the charities by being there helping them do the work that they do, and you'll find that you become more driven towards the cause and more interested in helping in every way that you can. Realize that the universe provides, you do not need to stockpile money or posessions for yourself. When you need something, it will find its way to you.

Gluttony: Slow down. The easiest way to consume less is to take a longer time doing it. The uncomfortabe feeling of fullness comes about with less food if you give yourself more time between bites. You'll consume less alcohol if you sip at it rather than gulping it. Take a concious effort to pay attention to everything you take in, and it also helps to keep track of the quantities. If you look back over an evening and don't remember how much alcohol you drank, you're less likely to be concerned. If you realize you had 8 mixed drinks plus a few shots, you might be quicker to question it.

Lust: This one is tricky, as just like food we have a physical need for sex. If your difficulty is in sleeping around, then familiarize yourself with STD's, what they do, what they look like, and whether or not they are curable. Spend some time with friends who have kids, see what they do in a day, ask about childcare costs. Find out how much people have to pay out in child support. These things are the side effects of sex and can help make you more cautious in it, but again you should be tackling the root problem. Why is it that you are seeking sex out? Perhaps you are looking to connect with someone, or you are looking for affection, or looking for a conquest. Each of these reasons is because you feel that you are missing something inside and you are trying to provide it externally. Lust can also be related to shame - one might avoid relationships because they are too hard, which could in turn be because of a S.O. pointing out their faults and making them feel guilty or ashamed. One still wants companionship, so they seek out others but then avoid the relationship part of it in order to avoid the guilt. It can turn into a cycle where a person has as much sex as possible with as many people as possible because they are trying to fill the gap that not having a relationship has left in their lives.

Question Everything

Who? What? Where? Why? When? How?

If you see one of these words at the beginning of a sentence, it triggers you to expect that sentence to be a question rather than a statement.

We take so much for granted. The earth is round. The sky is blue. God is in Heaven, the Devil is in Hell, and how much you pray each night determines who you'll be hanging out with after you die.

Right?

People go to church, they go to school, they go to work, they read the papers, they watch the news and are constantly fed bits of information that are assumed to be facts. Normally, when we are faced with a figure of authority such as a teacher, pastor, boss or parent, we assume that what this person tells us is fact. They wouldn't lead us astray, they know what they are talking about or else they wouldn't be in that position.

Would they?

Faith is incredibly important. Faith in God. Faith in Truth. Faith in Karma. However, most people misplace their faith by putting it in other people rather than absolutes. Humans are variables, falliable and we are all driven by the same desires. You cannot assume that just because someone is leading a congregation in prayer that they are trustworthy. I am not saying that these people are dishonest, I'm saying they are human. (and yes, some are outright dishonest)

Did you know that if you tell yourself a lie enough times, eventually you will believe that it is true? I have been witnessed to, by Christians, and told some rather unbelievable stories. I have also been told some equally unbelievable stories by friends about all the amazing things they had done in their lives. I hold both of these types of people as one and the same.

The fact is, people can and do lie to each other every single day. We tell our friends their dresses are cute even if they are hideous. Why? Because we've weighed the pros and cons of being honest and determined that, for whatever reason, it's best to say it's a cute dress and move on. We tell our boyfriends that they didn't hurt our feelings badly, because we don't want to hurt theirs. We tell our dentists we brushed 3 times a day, every single day. We exaggerate, we emeblish, we say a friend of our cousin's friend saw the biggest donkey ever, it was as tall as a house. Oh, and no he wasn't able to grab the $20 off the dashboard in that really hot Nova.

Right. Don't even get me started on myths like Lemmings that we were taught in school... and are not true.


I'm not saying you should stop doing whatever it is you're doing, stop seeing your friends, stop going to church or anything like that. Just question things and don't blindly believe everything you are told.

Remember what blind faith has driven in our past- Nazi's, the Crusades, the Salem witch trials, terrorist attacks, the list goes on...

Fear

Every so often, I re-read something I wrote in the past and I learn from myself. Today is one of those days...

Because of recent events, I am at a fork in the road. But there aren't two paths I can choose from, there are a million. The road ahead of me is open, I can go anywhere and do anything. In a way, I feel like a kid who just graduated high school and now has every possibility imaginable open to them.

I had planned to move elsewhere, but no definite decision as to where was made yet. Then, a friend asked me to move to Florida with her...

I am terrified of the prospect of moving so far away from what has always been my home that I would have to drive over 14 hours to make it back to where my family is. I'm terrified of going someplace where I can't keep my current job, or apartment, and have no backup other than the friend I'd be moving with. No other friends, no family, no security.

I was reading back through my blog and came across my post "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" and it reminded me of one of the most important lessons we can learn in life...

Growth will not happen unless you step outside of your comfort zone. You must face your fear and do things that are uncomfortable. You have to wak the path that isn't easy to reap the rewards of learning more about yourself and the world. Sometimes you have to take a chance on life to get what you really want, even if you don't know yet what that is. I'm not saying this has convinced me to make the move, but I am going to make my decision about this move based on facts, not on fear. I wanted to change my life competely, to walk away from who I have been so I can become who I want to be. Thus far my life has been dictated by circumstance, and it is about time I make my own circumstances now matter how much it scares me to do so. Bottom line, the journey will make me stronger, no matter the outcome.

Courage is not a lack of fear, courage is doing what you have to do despite your fear.

The Sacredness of the Spin

Spin, cycle, circle, turn, twirl, spiral, twist...

The universe itself slowly turns on a singular immovable immeasurable point, a singularity, an axis. As it quietly spins in space, that spin trickles down and influences the movement of everything within the universe. As the universe spins, so too do the galaxies (albiet in an opposing direction), as the galaxies spin so too do their solar systems, as the solar systems spin so too do the planets within. Spinning planets are made up of matter whose molecules spin, molecules are made up of atoms whose electrons/protons/neutrons spin, and so forth right down the the most basic building block of matter: energy.

Does the spin begin with that building block, or with the universe itself? When and where did the spin begin? When and how will the spin stop, or are we gradually slowing down over eons?

Tie a pendulum to a string, and spin it over your head. So long as you keep the pendulum spinning, it remains suspended. As that spin slows, the pendulum dips lower and lower until finally going haywire and crashing into your arm. We know that the universe has been expanding, and may now be in the process of slowly collapsing upon itself. Is it possible that it's spin has slowed, and that slowing is what is allowing the collapse? If the universe were to continue spinning at the same rate, eternally, would it remain at some expanded point?

Somewhere in infinity, God caused the universe to exist. He knit together the fabric of space-time, and brought about this finite, physical universe. As he wove everything together, he spun. The universe came into existance, spinning. Possibly bursting forth from the very singularity which is now its center. Bursting out rapidly, and settling into a slow, deliberate turn and expansion. And eventually, that turn which fueled all of the fires in the universe begins to slow.

In time, the universe will slow so far that the galaxies, solar systems, planets, etc will simply fall back in on themselves. At this time, the motion of the universe allows its components to overcome the gravity of the singularity at its center. When the universe slows enough, that gravity will snatch back its power over all the matter in existance, and draw it all back in like the cracking of a whip. It is that collapse which fuels the subsequent bang, springing all of existance back into existance again.

This eternal cycle, gigantic and infinite from our perspective is like watching the breathing of a child. If you are beyond it, it appears so simple, so natural, even unremarkable. Within those lungs however, the source of the wind which eternally changes directions would seem unimaginable, infinite, immeasurable.

Everything is cyclic because our universe is cyclic. The universe is cyclic because everything within is cyclic. It is the constant polarity, the opposing spin that keeps everything spinning. Yes, I'm saying that everything spins because everything spins. It sounds ridiculous, and yet it is true. I can envision things like this in my minds eye and it makes perfect sense to me, but sometimes I am not sure how to phrase it to help others to understand what I see. In the future this blog will begin to feature images as well as writing, in hopes that I can more clearly express what it is that I see. (Hopefully in the near future.)

Known spirals/spin/cyclic examples:

DNA
Earth & solar system
Waves (sound/light)
Atoms
Tides
Gravity (caused by a combination of mass and rotation)
Evaporation/condensation
Reproduction
Food Chain
Time
Weather
Animal Migration
Magnetic polarity
Even our own circulatory system is endless and cyclic.

The symbology of the Yin Yang is ideal for this concept, as they eternally spiral around each other, never resting, one always driven by the other as it drives the other and is in turn driven by it.

How do we generate electricity? Spinning. Toilets flush by water spiraling out of the bowl, thanks to gravity. The action of all motors and engines is cyclic, wheels turn, fans move air with great force by spinning. Electrical circuits and the action of batteries is cyclic. In fact, use of electricity in general requires the ability for the power to flow both in and out of whatever it is powering.

Life and existance is all about cycles and spirals, the more you are aware of it the more of them you'll notice in time. This sacred motion is the heart and the whole of all of existance, and perhaps some point in the future we may even be able to harness that spin towards the creation of clean power.

Let There Be Light

On the first day of the biblical creation story, God said "Let there be light", and there was.

Light was caused to exist without the presense of the sun, or stars, as these items he created later. This leads me to wonder if the "light" which was brought forth is the light of which we think, as the light we assume is meant is that which comes from the sun. If the sun did not yet exist, where did this light come from, and is it what we think it is?

Light (as I define it for the purpose of this discussion) is much more than the visual spectrum we can see. Nearly every form of energy falls somewhere within the electromagnetic spectrum, including sound. Energy itself is, essentially, light. Energy is also the building block and foundation of everything. As scientists are able to see smaller and smaller particles of matter, they are learning that the very smallest particles are little bubbles of energy. AKA, little bubbles of light...

That initial creation of light/energy flooded the universe with this most basic building block, in its many forms. Visible light, X-rays, sound waves, and most importantly strings of light energy.

I envision the creator, having brought this "light" forth begins, over the next five days, to weave it into shape and form. Bringing strings together to form elements, to bring elements together to form molecules, to bring molecules together to form earth and air and water. Creating the universe like a tapestry from threads of light.

If it is correct that light and energy are one and the same, the concept is made even more interesting in the formula of E=mc².

We would be restating energy as light, in such, saying that light equals mass times the speed of light, squared. This means that a quantity of light in a given mass is determined by its own speed. It is fortunate that the speed of light is a constant, otherwise things would grow infinitely more complicated. Infinite is all too appropriate, as if the speed of light were not constant, the quantity of light would grow infinitely as its speed increased.

The speed of light is a constant so we do not have this complication to worry about.

Another bit of scientific information is that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed from one form to another, or stored and released. This means that light, being energy, also can neither be created nor destroyed.

So, energy (light) is omnipresent - it is the base construct of all things and permeates everywhere, which means light is everywhere and in all things. Light exists outside of time - the speed of light is a constant, it does not accelerate or decelerate, it just is. It is indestructable, it has no beginning and no end. Because light is omnipresent, were it sentient it could also be considered all knowing because it is all places at all times and therefore omniscent.

Omnipresent, omnipotent, omnitscent. What does that remind you of?

God, perhaps? The idea is that energy/sound/light/heat itself IS God*, and that the most miniscule component of our makeup - quarks/strings of light-energy - are threads of God's very being. All of us, all of matter, all of existance combines to make the whole that is God, one giant matrix of energy living with a tremendous sentience that allows existance to persist. It is a huge concept to grasp, it may make your head spin to realize that God is not some being that is "out there" somewhere, but rather that God IS the finite, and the infinite, the macro and the micro, the alpha and the omega...this is starting to sound familiar...

*I also believe that there is much more to light/energy than we are aware of or can measure - and that God is much more than JUST light/energy.