Saturday, April 9, 2011
By understanding the author you can better understand their words. So, I'm going to talk about myself a lot today. I promise after this we'll get back to the good stuff.
Why do I occasinally have wild lists, misspellings, weird use of grammar and frequent tangents?
I write the way I speak and the way I think. I even do quite a bit of editing on my posts, and in many cases an "error" is still here because I liked it. I like quirks. I like odd use of language. Like hearing a foreign accent, it piques my curiosity and makes me listen more. I also talk fast, especially when I'm excited about something. I can't possibly count how many times I've said something and had someone look dazed afterwards, asking me to repeat. Slowly.
This blog does exactly what it should do - it reflects my personality rather than perfection. I'm not about perfection. I'm about truth.
The one, single, most important thing you should know about my writing - I am the queen of the run-on-sentence. Unabashedly and unashamed I throw run-on-sentences about willy-nilly as if they want to parade their pretty new dresses that are composed of words, words, some commas, more words, possibly even a semi-colon that makes it look almost gramatically correct. Then, finally, the period (and deep breath) you've been waiting for appears.
I don't know why. Much of what I say doesn't feel right to me if I break it up too much... most likely because it was a strand of thought in my head and I want it to stay that way on paper. So instead I use emphasis and ellipses frequently. If you hate run-on-sentences, or you plan to read my writing aloud to yourself, you've been warned.
[if you don't know what an ellipsis is, please open a new tab, type it in your google search box and read the wiki. this is what I do every time I see something I don't understand or know enough about to satisfy my personal quota for understanding the context of what I am reading. you'd be surprised at the amazing things you can discover]
What Am I like?
I occasionally reflect on posts that I have written and realize that the post itself makes me sound like one person, whereas another post makes me sound different. So I wanted to explain what everything becomes when you put it all together in one head...
My brain is a well filled but disorganized place. I have to organize the world around me carefully in order to keep track of everything. I often jump from subject to subject in my train of thought, and I have a very bad habit of interupting people mid sentence because I suddenly thought of something I felt was amazing. My humor is kind of off, that is to say that many times I talk about something I thought was incredibly funny (or crack a joke I thought would be hilarious) and I'm met with crickets. Or the "needle being dragged off the record" sound. Sometimes people actually play these sounds from their cell phones while staring at me in that "I want you to know how un-funny I think you are" kind of way.
Ok. They don't do the sound effects. But they look at me that way all the same.
I am a fantastic problem solver. My thinking does not follow a linear path. By linear, I am refering to the way that I think everyone else thinks based on the way they talk their way through logic. I talk my way through logic in a completely different way. In fact, some times it's so round about that I just jump from point A to point D without even touching B or C.
A door opens in front of you. Through it you see another door. You walk through the first door, open the second, and see a third. You open it and I'm standing there because I noticed a hallway that goes out around and didn't require passing through people's bedrooms. You cheeky monkey.
Not you personally. It's just an example. Unless you'd walk through people's bedrooms without first looking for the hallway. You cheeky monkey.
I've deliberately written this whole post very much in the way I would be speaking to someone while hanging out and just having a conversation. I've tried to inject some of this into my recent posts as well. My goal is to merge my mental writing more with my actual writing, basically infusing more of my personality into my posts.
Why does this blog explore so much varied content and switch back and forth between very broad scientific stuff to very personal self help stuff? It isn't very cohesive, what is your point?
I am not by any means a daily blog writer, in fact most of my posts are composed ahead of time, 7 or more at a time, then scheduled in advance. In fact, this post was written three or four days ago and scheduled. Mind warp! I'm talking to the future! Doc! Doc Brown! Can you hear me?
Curse me and my tangenty ways.
Back to the point.
This blog may touch on a myriad of subjects and go to territories both familiar and unfamiliar, but everything really is unified into a single purpose.
I want you to ask questions. Question yourself, question life, question what you've been taught, question science, question religion, question authority, question your way of life, question whether there are tiny pink elephants hiding in some deep part of the rainforest we've never found.
But Ri, you may say, what is the point of questioning everything? Granted questioning everything is a point but it must lead to a greater point, right?
Of course. I hadn't thought of that. Until I just typed it. (did that sound like Shatner in your head as you read it? It should have. Read it again.)
The initial point is for you to question everything, and the point of doing THAT is to bring you to realization. One realization, fifty realizations, three realizations, whatever happens for you is up to you. But what will most definitely happen is that you will have a new perspective on the world, yourself, and who knows what else. All of this though, has yet another point. > _ <
Ok this is it! The end all-be all point of what I do!
I want to help people grow. Flourish, flower, blossom, become more than you are right now.
It is my belief that we are alive for the singular reason of growth. As we have experience here, we grow. That growth translates to an increased growth in the universe, which means as we as people have experiences, the universe grows. Like a child in the womb, it started as a tiny speck and is ever growing to some bigger, greater, and completely different thing.
In fact, this is one of the few beliefs I hold dear which never changes. It is my core belief. It is to me, the purpose of life and existance - to continually grow, change, evolve, learn, and become more than you already are. I believe this to be an unending process - and cyclical - it's one of the basic truths of life itself.
EVERYTHING is cyclical. The planet spins, the universe spins, the seasons change in cycles, human life goes in cycles, the planet experiences cycles, the stock market experiences cycles, trends come in cycles, population comes in cycles, civilization comes in cycles. Even the very thing that has everyone on edge right now is affected by a cycle - radiation. First of all, the way reactors work involves a cycle. Second, radiation goes through a much slower cycle in that it takes quite a long time for it to dissipate (half life). Third, the fact that the radiation is making it's way around the world is thanks to the cycles of weather and wind that wrap the globe.
So that is it. My point. Helping you to grow so that we all can grow, so that existance itself can be improved.
My methods for achieving this range from gentle guidance to help your soul heal to kick-in-the-ass reality changing questions, to sharing my unique perspective in hopes that it will make you consider your own. I do this all with love - because I genuinely and truely love everyone on this planet, even if people infuriate me. A Lot. But I know that that comes from them not understanding as much about existance as I do and being caught in cycles of life from which they cannot escape without help.
I have my own cycles that I experience. I write because I suddenly get a need to do so, then the need is fulfilled and will rest until it builds and rises again. Same with painting. I paint because I must and it comes in cycles. I am driven by forces I cannot name to do the things that I do. The part of this that is pickling my brain is that some serial killers say the same thing...about killing.
So here is my kick-ass question of the day: (I've decided that throwing these in randomly could be fun.)
Is it possible that serial killers were designed to kill because what they do causes waves of change in our mentalities and causes us to experience pain - pain which will inevitably cause us to grow? Does that mean they are right to do it?
I know my answer. I want to hear yours.