Friday, April 22, 2011
How to be Who You Are, Against All Odds, Pt 6 - Closure
In this final post, I just want to touch on some last thoughts I have on the subject, and kick your butt a bit to motivate you into fixing the only thing you can fix - yourself.
This series is part of an extensive essay I wrote to explain theraputic methods I have myself used and have taught to my friends. I think a lot of people out there have no idea what they really want or who they really are, because we have all been trained so long to follow the herd and trends and authority. Those walls need to be broken back down so that your true self can grow and flourish, and you can find true happiness from within yourself.
Stop. Making. Excuses. If you've gotten this far and worked through all of the prior posts, and you are still making excuses why you can't or won't follow your heart, then you are relying on old habits and trying to stay safe. It's ok. You may not yet be ready to unleash your full potential, but DO NOT STOP trying. Continue to journal and work through things and when the time is right, the world had better look out because you're going to rock it. There is a time and a place for everything, and all of the universe has an ebb and flow to it. Your time will come, but it is up to you to prepare for that time.
But I don't want to hear any excuses. I can't tell you how many excuses I hear ALL THE TIME, that grow ever tiring because they are just a repeat of the same thing over and over...
I can't change my life, I have kids! You can't do that with kids!
I can't let (insert person name) down, they would be so upset.
I don't have the money to make any changes.
I've already done this for this long, if I stop now everyone will get mad.
I'm too tired/exhausted/busy. (this is evidence you NEED to make changes)
And so on.
There are prominent bloggers who changed their lives even though they had kids or had to go against their families wishes or who were in horrible debt or who cast off society all together or who thought they would never escape the life they had lived. Nothing is impossible, we only tell ourselves that to relieve ourselves of the responsibility to make a change.
Let me say that again.
An excuse is a way to relieve yourself of responsibility. You make excuses to yourself more than you do to anyone else, because an excuse stops you from feeling like a failure. If you make an excuse and never try, you may not feel like a failure but you sure as hell are NOT going to feel like a winner, either.
Instead of making excuses, just admit the truth to yourself. "I am not ready for this now. I want it, but I have to work on it slowly." Even better - the truth you admit to yourself may something you can address. It may be "I am afraid to step outside of what I've always known" - that can be addressed so that you CAN step outside of the world you've known. After all, if you are even considering it then deep down you want a change.
There is something incredibly cleansing in speaking the truth, even if it is only aloud to yourself. Tell the truth, not an excuse. After all, the truth will set you free.
The reason that these techniques work is because in the human mind, if something is not spoken aloud, written down, witness or known to anyone other than you, it is in essence NOT REAL. You can push it around, avoid it, ignore it, stomp on it, pretend you don't hear it, stick your fingers in your ears and swear to GOD that you were thinking about flower arranging not "that thing", and you can completely get away with it. No one else knows, so it is your thing to believe or NOT believe.
When you sit down and write down that thing it is real. You see the words with your eyes, you feel the pen in your hand (which is why I personally prefer to actually write on paper), you can smell that faint smell of ink on the paper, hell you can ball it up and chew it if you want. The point is you can no longer escape the truth. This is therapy in the form of facing your demons and figuring out how to conquer them, instead of hiding from them your whole life.
I don't know what you want, because only you know that. What I can tell you is what I want - I want to be free. Free from fear, from lies, from stress, from heartache, from processing memories that are painful over and over because I shut down every time I start. I don't want to get to the point where I'm crying those gut-wrenching-barely-able-to-breath-beet-red-face tears over "nothing". I don't want to carry around ghosts anymore, hoping they never show themselves in the light of day to the people around me.
I want to be able to focus on my creativity and growth, to encourage the small seedling within me to grow into a great giant redwood tree that is unmistakable and impossible to hide.
And, I want all of that for you, too. I want you to be happy, to be content, to feel completely at ease in your skin and in your soul. It won't be easy getting there, and it's not going to be all kittens and pancakes once you're there either. I think I've stated several times "ITS GOING TO HURT. LIKE HELL. BURN BABY BURN!" or something like that. But I've also repeatedly said its utterly, completely, absolutely, "yelling-"I'm Free"-from-the-hilltops" WORTH IT.
I wish you all the best in the future and in your self discovery!