The Phoenix

There is an eternal cycle of the two and the axis - two extreme points tied together by a central axis that spins, thereby creating the cycles of life, death, existance, seasons, time, and so on.

Within our own lives there is a cycle as well, one less recognized and yet instantly recognized when we see one of its symbols - the phoenix.

The one thing that everyone immediately understands when they hear the word Phoenix is the idea of dying in a fire and then being reborn from the ashes. Even when the phoenix itself is not involved, there are many other archetypes and mythological figures who share this same characteristic - two immediate examples are Hercules and Jesus.

The rebirth of Jesus is extremely well known - he was crucified and rose again three days later, in a form not well described but nonetheless described as different from his physical body. Yet he had a special spiritual body that enabled him to interact here on earth after his death, so he did have a body, but it was a body that was God-like (or part of God).

Hercules died by burning - his wife had soaked his vest in poison that when Hercules put it on burned his skin, and even attached to his skin so that in removing the vest he also removed skin. Two alternate ideas state that he either tore off all of his human flesh leaving only his godly self, or that he died from his wounds and was raised (as promised) as a God by Zeus.

The cycle is of carnal birth and death, which are one and the same, and spiritual birth. Carnal birth and carnal death are the same - they are flip sides of the same coin. We continually move through one into the other, until spiritual rebirth happens. It is a smaller cycle within the greater cycle, just as all things reflect along the scale from minute to mighty, layered within themselves.

Carnal birth equates to death of the soul - and when it says that those who do not ascend to God will die, this is what is meant. So long as the soul is imprisoned in a physical body, it is bound and blinded, its wings clipped. This is death because it is not life - the soul cannot move (in its sense of movement, not ours), it cannot speak or see or even breathe. It lies malnurished within us, waiting for the day it is released and can once again be a part of the all.

We, the beings that we are, have a unique place in all of this. We have the capability to do anything we wish - free will - but it is only through relinquishing that will to the all that we can free our souls.

To be as plain as possible about the meaning, our conciousness - the "us" - must choose to set itself aside so that the soul can take over the focus of our being. When this happens, we begin to return the power to the soul that it lost by being trapped within our body.

This can be frightening, as the unconcious part of the mind, which thinks it is the soul, wants us to focus on it instead. It reacts to the soul with fear because of it's own desire to exist. There will be anxiety, paranoia, the feeling of coming too close to something too big for us to handle, and the overwhelming feeling that we need to turn to something concrete like a book or a spiritual leader or a religion. If the fear takes enough hold of us, we can potentially close ourselves off to the idea completely - and circumvent its attempts to appear in our life in every way possible.

This is truely what hell is. Locking ourselves into the physical world because we are afraid of what might happen if we let go -

Letting go is the only way to truely be free.

It is only in allowing ourselves to burn, to be crucified (even encouraging it by carrying our own cross), to be hurt, to be poor, to be weak, that we can experience the true rock of strength, compassion and love that is hiding deep within us. We would appear dead to the world before we could be reraised to the spirit. A person in this state would, in fact, not be dead. They would be like a catepillar within its coccoon - transmutating into a more beautiful form, one that can fly and create awe in others. Why do we all love butterflies and dragonflies so? Because they are a reminder of who and what we really are, a reminder that some day we'll burst forth from the coccoon and fly as well.

When we want to be as the phoenix, to burn away the unneccessary parts of our being to leave only the pure and crystalized beauty within, we must take it upon ourselves to do so.

There is no hero going to come along and save us - we must each be our own hero. We must give up everything (it does not need to be all at once, and it does take time). Give away all that we own, let go of the security which comes from jobs, homes, cars, phones, internet, etc. Let go of the relationships you are clinging to, walk away from the people that you know, explore solitude at length. It is ok to give everything up - it is something which is stated repeatedly in the bible, yet no one seems to hear the words. If you trust in God, have faith, and don't struggle or fight to keep anything to yourself, you will be provided for. If you fight and struggle, then what you are trying to keep will be taken away. It is that simple, and you already experience it every day. At the times you decide to leave things in God's hands, they are taken care of. When you try to protect yourself and your things, disasters small and large can strike to take them away.

This is especially true of money - how many times do we get extra, by gift or promotion or bonus, and immediately have an emergency that takes most of it away? It is the balance which causes this, and you cannot fight the balance. Those who manage to seem as if they have more than they need may keep the money or things, but will find themselves facing much greater hardships in terms of comfort, happiness, and spirit.

To conclude this long and meandering post, the catepillar must give up a comfortable, complacent and safe life of munching on leaves until he is fat and seem to die in order to transform into the stunning butterfly. There is always the risk that the catepillar, by being still, bound, and blind could be eaten or die, but he takes that risk because it is worth it considering what he could become.

We too must give up the comfortable and "safe" life and walk through the fire in order to gain our wings, to become a part of the kingdom of God, to find a life eternal that removes us from the cycle of carnal life and carnal death.

To be alive.

Embracing the Pain

As much as I hate to admit it, my blog has some definite self-help themes running through it. The only reason I don't like admitting that is because I don't want my message mistaken for something it is not...


I will never suggest that my discussions and advice here will make your life better, easier, or happier. I offer advice and speak about topics that will help you find the path that leads to knowing yourself, growing, and exploring.


I am a firm believer in the following concepts:

1. Humans need to evolve our state of consciousness through our own seeking.
2. The process of evolving ourselves can be fraught with pain and peril.
3. If you avoid change, you avoid the reason we are here.
4. Every person has the ability to experience fear and triumph despite that fear.
5. Everything we fear can be traced back to our inherent fear of death.



I propose a radical change in the way you view life.

When you feel afraid of something, instead of turning away or hiding from it, stare it down. If you can only handle a few seconds, that's enough for the first time. Try to turn away, calm down, and then look again. Do so until you can rationally consider what you are seeing without feeling panicked.

Then, try to figure out why it frightens you. Is it because of a prior bad experience? Is it because the object of your fear is dangerous to your physical or emotional health? Is it an instinct passed down from the time before we were conscious upright beings?

Now, an amazing thing can happen. Whatever it is that causes your fear, trace it back. Afraid of being bitten by a spider? That is because some spider bites have killed people. Afraid of germs? That is because some people have gotten sick and died from them. Afraid of heights? Afraid of flying? Afraid of having your heart broken? Afraid of your child dying? Every one of them goes back to the same thing. We don't want to die, we don't want to be alone, and we don't want to feel pain.

These are the three major fears to which all other fears can be traced, and the latter two (alone and pain) can be traced back to death as well. We could fear being alone because it means we could die without having a legacy and thereby immortality, through other's memories of us, through having children, through having done something important. Pain is a physical reminder of the possibility of death, it reminds us that death could happen at any moment, therefore we fear pain. (Obviously pain is uncomfortable, but I am speaking to the irrational fear and avoidance of pain, not "I'd rather not hurt" which is the more rational mindset)


We don't want to get to know the inner depths of our being for a big reason: it ties to every fear we have. It can alienate us if we change, thus triggering our alone fear, it could potentially make us crazy which triggers our death fear, and it can potentially hurt - a lot - triggering our pain fear.

Seriously, going through what it takes to really find yourself, who you are inside, what you really are, will ultimately mean destroying the life you have today. Eventually, few scarce vestiges of the person you are now will remain, and you will be someone else. You will likely lose or give up most of your possessions, you'll probably end up living somewhere else, doing something else, even looking like a different person. You will probably distance yourself from family and friends - or they will distance themselves from you - and your priorities will not be the same.

But... we can't only look at that part of it. Even as you lose all of those things, you'll be gaining so much more. You will find new friends, new family, new priorities, a new place to live and a new way to live. You will find yourself to be stronger than you had thought, and you will learn that the changes you put yourself through have tempered your being like steel, making you stronger and bolder and calmer.

And then, you'll do it again. And again. And again. Each time becoming bolder, braver, freer, with less fear.

One small step, followed by another, is all it takes.

Technology: Is It Really The Minimalist's Friend?

I was reading a minimalism themed blog today and something made me pause...

It's the statement that technology makes minimalism so much easier, with e-books and digital files that can replace a large amount of physical books, cds, photos, etc.

I agree... it does make life much easier to have all of my music, photographs, and writings on a computer. It makes life much easier to be able to go to the Internet for reference rather than having encyclopedias gathering dust on the shelf.

But is it truly minimalist?

I realize that everyone has their definition of what "minimalism" means these days, but most people concur on the idea that it is to have only what you really need and to cut out the excess.

Lets look to the dictionary:

Minimalism is listed only in regards to music, art and design - minimalism as a lifestyle is a fairly new use of the term.

So, how about the root - minimal?

min·i·mal   /ˈmɪnəməl/ Show Spelled[min-uh-muhl] adjective
1. constituting a minimum: a minimal mode of transportation.
2. barely adequate or the least possible: minimal care.

"barely adequate" seems to be a good baseline here - extreme minimalists live with not adequate - so barely adequate seems appropriate for non-extreme minimalists.

Having a library of photos, books and music at your fingertips is far more than adequate - it's having your cake and eating it too, as my mom would say. Is this a problem? Yes. Let me explain...

Minimalism as practiced today is a reaction to the common way of life in first world countries in the last century - and to a depressed economy. Sadly it has also become yet another source of over-inflated pride and a "I'm better than others" sort of chip on the shoulder. You know, like the episode of South Park when there was a giant cloud of smug hanging over the town? Hey, the show may be humerous and a bit gritty but their social commentary is often spot on.


Minimalism is a good idea. My concern is that people are doing it for the wrong reasons (see my post on buzzword/fad cause support), and thus will end up dropping it as they move through life and their focus changes. It isn't something that should be done on a whim, or because someone else is doing it and it seems like a good idea, or because it has become some sort of competition to who can have the least number of things. It certainly shouldn't be a way to sell books and make money.

In my opinion, and I know that others may or may not share it, minimalism is a tool to drag yourself out of consumerism, away from the tv, away from all the distractions and trappings of our culture. It's a way to find who you really are when there is nothing else to do but sit and think about it. Or not think about it, in the case of meditation.

You see, we are all being untrue to ourselves. We do what society says we should do, what our parents say we should do, what our friends and families and spouses say we should do. And even when they don't say it, we still do what we think they want, or what everyone else is doing. What we need is the freedom to be who we are when everything else is ripped away - whether we rip it away or someone else does. Only then can we go through the terrifying experience of not having a safety net - and it is terrifying - but it is also cleansing and focusing, it is baptism by fire. It will burn away all the slop and the bits and pieces within you that were put there by other people. This is not a quick or simple process - though starting it can be. It may need to happen multiple times, it can take half a lifetime, but casting yourself into the fire repeatedly will ultimately polish you into the true gem of who and what you really are.

Make no mistake - I'm not speaking from a point of having completed this path - I'm still on it. In fact, all of this had me thinking...

What if I could only have one book? One CD? One article of clothing? One pair of shoes? One tool for creating art?

What would they be?

Book: Patterns of Happiness (given to me by my great-grandmother) It's a small book, maybe 20 pages, with captivating illustrations and inspirations of inner growth and enlightenment.

Music: A burned CD including Me and a Gun by Tori Amos, Not an Addict by Jane's Choice, Whirlwind by The Gits, Good Riddance by Green Day

Clothing: For a woman it's easier, a dress can work. But if we discount basic articles of clothing and were talking about one decorative article, then a blue sari would be my choice.

Shoes: I'd prefer barefoot, second choice being moccasins.

Single tool for creating art: Either a pocket knife/multi-tool for carving wood or my little watercolor field set.


The importance of this exercises is not so much what you'd keep but why. That is the real beauty of minimalism - when you can't or don't want to have it all, you realize what is most important to you and you learn why you value those things thanks to the process of weighing your options.

My book choice come from my fascination with spirituality and my love of certain types of illustration, my music choices relate to connecting emotions to sound and my enjoyment of singing along, my clothing choice is because the sari can be worn so many ways and is a strikingly beautiful piece. My selection of shoe comes from respect for the historical Native American way of life.

My choice of a tool for art is perfectly in line with how I have always created - I use what is at hand and I shape it into my heartfelt vision. It doesn't matter what the tools are and it almost doesn't matter what the end result is. What matters is how I feel while I am creating.


If you've read many of my posts, you know that minimalism isn't my focus, but is part of a spectrum of ideas that are points on the road of my journey. I cannot look at minimalism simply as a lifestyle because it is reflected so heavly in every religion I am aware of. Our great teachers including Jesus and the Buddah not only speak of minimalism, they emphasize the lack of posessions as a key to unlocking their teachings. The minimalism that they speak of does not allow for keeping carbon copies of everything on a hard drive somewhere - it speaks of letting everything go. Completely, utterly, without back up or rewind, deleting everything until all that is left is you.



Ultimately our technology can help us and hinder us. It can allow us to drop our safety net of having things, but technology is a safety net of another color. Because of our technology, we can give up our things and think that we are making a huge internal change by doing so ... but we have the solid backup of the electronic versions. In other words, we haven't given the item up - we have only changed its form.

Gnosis

If you want to see,

close your eyes.

If you want to hear,

plug your ears.

If you want to know,

be silent.